Goatham 2021

2021 Ranked-Choice G.O.A.T. Vote

Riverside Park Conservancy’s second-ever “Running of the Goats” on Wednesday, July 14, 2021, introduced the “Fabulous Five” candidates to New Yorkers — and for this second-ever Vote-the-GOAT election, the public was able to vote using the Conservancy’s new and heretofore untested ranked choice voting system.

“Our ranked choice voting system will go off without a hitch and the GOAT will be crowned without any confusion or controversy by the end of the summer. We encourage New Yorkers to come meet the “Fabulous Five” in person and to pay attention to our social media channels as the goats roll out their platforms.”

– Dan Garodnick, President & CEO of Riverside Park Conservancy

Read more about the Fabulous Five here – listed in order of the voting results
GOG (Grand Old Goat) Party

#1 Chalupa

Keeps head down, ate through the park in 2019, some say not exciting but works hard to get the job done

Past career: technical support
Favorite dessert: cotton candy
Favorite TV show: Girls
Pet peeve: throwing food in the trash

Work hard, play hard, graze hard: that’s Chalupa’s motto. Some may call him a workaholic, but that’s just because he keeps his head down and prioritizes the job at hand. But don’t worry, Chalupa knows how to have fun when the week is over. On the weekends, you can find him down at Coney Island, alternating between riding the Cyclone and shaking hands with his constituents. Word on the street is that he and Pizza Rat are good friends, but he cannot confirm nor deny these rumors at this time.

Weed Whackers United Party

#2 Buckles

Popular cheerleader for the Park, sometimes struggles to distinguish porcelain berry from mugwort

Favorite bodega item: bacon, egg, and cheese on a roll
If he could live anywhere besides NYC: San Francisco
Pet peeve: getting food caught in his teeth
Dream date: walking over the Brooklyn Bridge

A popular cheerleader for Riverside Park, he sometimes struggles to distinguish porcelain berry from mugwort, and haven’t we all been there? It’s hard when there’s so much good food to eat, especially when you’re a foodie, like Buckles. You can find him campaigning at his favorite restaurants, from Jackson Heights to Inwood, from white-tablecloth establishments to food trucks, and everything in between. If elected, he promises to work hoof-in-wing with the Red-tailed hawks to make the park better from the ground up.

Eat Your Greens Party

#3 Skittles

Seasoned park veteran, finalist for the G.O.A.T. title in 2019

Favorite bagel: everything, toasted, with scallion cream cheese
Takes her coffee: light and sweet
Favorite TV show: Seinfeld
Dream vacation spot: anywhere warm, where she can sip a margarita on the beach

As a seasoned Riverside Park Veteran and finalist for the GOAT title in 2019, Skittles has what it takes to bring NYC into the future. There’s no hill she won’t climb, and no plant she won’t eat. A true Upper West Sider, you can find her campaigning in front of Zabar’s or Lincoln Center, and if you’re really lucky, she might sing a few bars from her favorite operas.

Hill Climbers for a Better New York

#4 Ms. Bo Peep

Newcomer to the scene, a wildcard rookie

Pet peeve: people who look at their phone while walking
Dream date: strolling through the MET
Favorite Broadway show: Phantom of the Opera
Secret talent: can play “New York, New York” on the kazoo and the banjo

Ms. Bo Peep grew up as a small-town kid but has now fully embraced the big city lifestyle. She loves taking the subway (the 1/2/3 line is her favorite), getting a big pretzel, and taking her parents to see Broadway shows. If elected, she promises to turn New York onto a fully organic, pro-biotic, vegan, plant-based diet.

Better Future For Our KIDS Party

#5 Mallomar

Known to be truly idealistic, a booster of all goats, lover of all park visitors

Pet peeve: shy people
Past career: Librarian
Celebrity crush: Natalie Portman
Favorite dessert: cinnamon babka

Have you read Infinite Jest? Mallomar has. Well, not so much “read” as “ate the pages,” but he still found it to be a digestible work of literature. When he’s not grazing, you can find him at the local NYPL branch, hoofing through the new releases. If elected, he promises to hold a book club every month, but he can’t guarantee that he won’t nibble.